12 posts tagged “childbirth”

http://www.d-mer.org/

have you or anyone you known ever experienced this while nursing? I had some issue with it (though clearly not as bad as some) but I never thought that it could be stemming from a biolgical issue. weird, but i never put it together. I just thought it was me as I get touched out very easily.

anyhow I just thought i would share it here incase it helps someone else out!

http://www.d-mer.org/

have you or anyone you known ever experienced this while nursing? I had some issue with it (though clearly not as bad as some) but I never thought that it could be stemming from a biolgical issue. weird, but i never put it together. I just thought it was me as I get touched out very easily.

here is a small blurb from theri website that better explains it:

how D-MER Presents:
What Mothers Feel

A key piece of D-MER is that a mother with D-MER feels absolutely fine except just before her milk starts to flow. D-MER is a brief feeling, not more than 30 seconds to 2 minutes, only and always beginning before let-down. This is not postpartum depression and most of these mothers feel perfectly fine except for that pre-milk moment. A brief interval after the negative feelings appear, the milk begins to flow.

D-MER can easily go unrecognized since 1) some mothers have so many closely spaced letdowns per feeding that the feelings do not have a chance to dissipate before the next D-MER is upon her, making her feel that she experiences on long D-MER through most of, if not all of, the feeding 2) many mothers do not physically feel a letdown in their breasts and so does not connect the feeling as to being just prior to letdown and 3) given the fact that D-MER happens with spontaneous letdowns as well, a mother may not immediately connect the way she is feeling to being a breastfeeding phenomenon.

anyhow I just thought i would share it here incase it helps someone else out!

I just came across this site. so far I really like it. no unnecessarily graphic pictures (which is a huge annoyance to me when sharing the website with members of the opposite sex!) 

I can't tell you how many times i have come across sites that claims to promote "Woman centered birth"...  Where do I begin? first off bringing a newborn child into a family should never be centered around any one family member. YES it comes via the mom, but it is an experience for the whole family (which could be the dad and possibly other siblings and in some cases grandparents and friends..). There is nothing as miraculous as being the mother - birthing a chid out of your own body! what a wonder! it is a joy (and hard work) to bring a child in this world! it should be celebrated and enjoyed! a woman should feel proud to have been able to bring her child into this world having nourishing it through her body for 9 months and then bring it to her breast to nurse it and help it grow into a toddler and soon one day, an adult. bring a new being into this world is beautiful!

... but this idea of woman centered birth is just plain ridiculous. it's downright selfish. we fight so hard to have "equal rights", and now we just keep on going. we don't want equal rights - we want better! b/c we are mothers! *eyeroll*  I'm actually quite sick of this ideal! and it's just a false notion of what one wishes would be. truth is God designed it that we need others during pregnancy, labour, delivery and birth. sometimes, it's our husbands. sometimes our children, and sometimes it's just between a mother and God. but we are never the only one there.

What an insult it must be to God to create this child and put it in a womb and have a mother take all the glory!  God gives us these children to raise and grow. how hurt He must feel when we take all the glory for creating these beautiful little human beings.

not to mention how it must feel to the dad... has anyone said to these dad's how they myst feel victim to they're child's "woman centered birth"? I can't imagine how hurt i would feel how degraded and unimportant... and uninvolved i would feel to have my spouse claim the birth of our child was all about them. this sets a dangerous tone for the beginning of parenting.

I don't think any woman claims to want or promotes "woman centered birth" for the purpose of excluding other or making the dad feel unwanted. I assume they get to wrapped up in themselves, their feelings, and their needs they honestly don't think much about the dad's. I don't think it's a problem of bad intentions, but more a problem of inexperience at best and selfishness at worse. these blogs i read talking about it often say "of course there is also a place for dad, but..."  always followed by a  "but". as if to say "yes I recognize this is his child too... but it's more mine"
ugh.

the most beautiful births I have ever been to (including a very good friend of mine) where family centered births. the woman was knowledgeable, and the dad was right there experiencing the awe and wonder of the birthing process alongside the mom. It was a journey they took together; both with different but important roles. and it is BEAUTIFUL!  of course births can be different, sometimes the couple decide the father should take a bigger role than others at certain parts. some dads are "get in there and get your hands dirty" kinda guys, and some just stand by and smile - emotionally and spiritually supporting the mother. every couple is different and has different needs and desires. this sets a high functioning tone to start our parenting. these are the couples that raise their children together. that communicate and are happy.

ok... so a few weeks ago I had the pleasure of attending a birth for a friend. namely as a friend with doula/birth knowledge more than a doula. (I was very hands off during the labour) This is 4th time mom and she knew the drill... just wanted some support for her homebirth. (ahem: no midwife was there ...shhhh!  ;)

anyhow it was a wonderful experience for everything. myself included! I'm a homebirth kinda girl. I normally work hospitals... but my heart really is in homebirthing. I take any and every chance I get to attend them. it was esp fun attending for a good friend. how neat to know everyone well before the birth! I want as many as I can get under my belt, and I'm a big believer in friends doing things for friends. I love that sorta thing. (of course I can't do everything for free... I do need to eat! but homebirths for close friends is an exception right now hehe)

so about a month later said friend emails me saying she has a "doula gift" for me. she'll bring it to the Birthing Circle meeting next week. cool! I thought. figuring it would be a picture of us all after the birth - perhaps framed. I love gifts!

so... fast fwd a bit... she hands me a bag. a framed photo shaped bag, I thought as I sized it up, and then I open it and instead of seeing of photo of her newest one... I see... A CAMERA!!!!
not just a camera... and awesome camera!!! with video and sound and everything i could possibly want in a little point in shoot!

what?!? I screamed a bit and was so overwhelmed i could hardly talk. how did she know I wanted a camera? what posessed her to by me such a perfect gift? she tells me her husband remembered me joking about how silly it is that I'm a photographer's wife but have no camera (I make that joke often - you know... the cobblers children have no shoes!) and they figured I would like that gift a lot.

well, my friend, you are right!! I am reveling in taking pictures! and videos! I LOVE it!!! still thinking about it I get teary eyed. it meant so much to me! that goes on record as one of the most thoughtful gifts I have ever received =)

(as soon as I figure out this new computer of ours, and as soon as Sean isn't so busy fixing it up just so, I will post pictures... lots of them!)

This is one of the sickest things I have ever seen.

this is real apparently... and really i can believe it. someone out there is patting themselves on the back thinking "what an efficient product I have made!"

if there is one thing in life what isn't about efficiency, it's motherhood.

motherhood has little to do with meeting the expectations of others. It has little to do with pleasing the current whims and stances of the medical field...  Mothering is about knowing our children. knowing them as people. loving them... understanding there every process. knowing their limits, boundaries, abilities, set backs, loves and dislikes.  and that starts in pregnancy. NOT when the kid is born, or at 3 months, 5 yrs or 16. it starts the moment that little life is inside you.

"what?", you may be thinking, "does this have to do with this outrageous birthing product?"

well what it has to do with it is this - it's just another encouragement, and expectation that a mother doesn't know enough to birth her own child. she doesn't know her body, and her child... and that a doctor and "medical personal" need to be in charge of this. and that whatever the mother has to do to make it "easier" on the birthing professionals, she must do... even in her most vulnerable and exhausting moment, she is asked to hold her legs back with a rubber peice so the doctor cn more easily deliver the baby. (btw, I've yet to see anyone who isn't the mother who is giving birth "deliver" a baby!)

it's starts with pregnancy, first you're told how to eat, how sleep, when to be checked, when to be induced. countless restrictions and demands are put upon a woman with the line added "we only want what's best for the baby". [[[ I'll not even go into how incredibly annoyed I am by that statement, as if anyone could possibly desire what was best for her baby more than a mother!? that is her entire purpose as a mother!! to protect and nourish her child! just you try stealing a baby out of a mother's hands and you will be met with the most vicious of  sites you've ever witnessed. in a mother is put the instinct to protect her young]]]  you're sent for test after test, pinched, poked, prodded and examined by people you hardly know. stripped bare of your clothing and your modestly you lay before a stranger hoping for their approval of how you've been taking care of yourself and your child.

I would just like to at this time, point out that a mother, in fact HIRES a doctor/ob/midwife/doula/other birth professional. SHE is in control.... not the people she hires. let's think for second about this... if I hired a nanny, would I hand over to her the responsibility of setting the rules for my child? informing me of how to care for, discipline and feed my own child? ... and if I hired a house cleaner, would I hand over to her the rights of my home? let her sleep in my bed and wear my clothes?

I think NOT!

why then when we go to an OB, do we as women, feel we must sign over our rights to those who know better? some may argue, "but this is what OBs went to school for!"....  but I argue that, OBs go to school to learn how to be OBs. not to learn how to be mothers!

I would never encourage a woman to badger, fight or argue with an OB/MW/BP... but I encourage women to pick the path they want or themselves and find a birth professional that will assist them on that paht. if a hospital birth is for you, find someone who fits that bill, if you like homebirths, go find a homebirthing midwife you feel comfortable with. If you desire a labour with all the bells and whistles (ie: epidural, inductions, augmentations...) though I would highly encourage you read up about it first, go find someone who is willing to help you on that path....

do NOT however... sign over your rights as a mother to ANYONE. period. There is a big difference, in heeded the suggestions, and recommendations of who who is knowledgable on a subject, but it does not cancel out what you as a mother know instinctually about your baby. both should be taken into consideration any decisions should be made based on those together.

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so back to the topic I started with, the "baby labour, OB handles".... read the discription on amazon. does this seem like something that is helpful to mothers and babies, or to "medical personal"? I will tell you this, any product that helps out a nurse or doctor so they don't  have to be at your every beck and call, is most certainly not a good thing. you HIRE your birthing professionals to be there for you when you need them. It is NOT asking too much to ask them to help your thru your labour and birth. if that means holding a leg, that's their job. if that means helping you onto a bedpan, that's also their job... and if it means sitting near by quietly reassuring you that you infact are doing it all just the way you need to be, that too is there job. Nothing you need while your birthing should be too much to ask. 

I've not been around much lately. I worked more than I normally do at the hospital. a meeting, a version (sucessful!) and a long laborious birth...

Last night we have company over for dinner. now that we go to the church an hour away we don't have company often anymore and I miss that! anyhow it was a lot of fun! between us we made chicken, mashed potatoes, homemade salsa, a big salad, green beans an ice cream. our small home had 10 people - 6 of switch were kids, and wow as it crazy!  it was a lot of fun and Eva was so sad to see them leave. while they were playing she comes running to me and says "I love these people!" haha. I think she isn't used to seeing them outside of church so she was so excited about that.

I think the guys may have done more talking than Cretora and I got to... simple b/c the kids managed to follow us into any room we went into- not that there are that many options here ha. at one point we snuck to my room to sit on the bed and before we know it 4 kids are on the bed and the other two on the floor beside us! too funny.

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yesterday I saw forceps used on a baby. and I gotta say I am NOT a fan of forceps. but I also have to say, since it was either that or a c/s I think it was a good call. (not that it's important what my opinion is on the matter, it was the mom's choice) the OB used them as gently as I could imagine and no more than needed. just when I think I've seen it all I always see something crazy. this mom had the narrowest pelvis I've ever seen. the baby was only 6.5 lbs, and it was OA. but no matter how she pushed, or in whatever position, after about 4 hrs the baby hadn't moved!  this baby refused to budge. This was the most natural labour I've seen in the hospital setting (which is a hard place to have a natural labour). she was walking and bouncing on the ball and swaying... and even doing side lunges. she was very vocal (we love that!) and moaned... she used a TENS unit as well. she was determined and strong. but after pushing the baby 4 hours with no movement of the baby, she was just fading on us. our encouragements of "you can do this!" and "your are doing such a wonderful job" weren't cutting it anymore and I believe they were almost insulting to her at this point. she eventually asked for some help (really asked, not just out of weakness) and the OB made sure it was really what she wanted and said she could do it however she pleased. (and unusually cool attitude for an OB!) and he assisted with forceps.

this OB totally got it - birth is important. it's important for the woman to make the decisions herself and feel victorious. Albeit, he's still and OB in a hospital (not my favorite thing for sure) but I'd say he was a pretty good one. He was no midwife, but I gotta say, aftermuch thought, aside from a midwife being with the mom the entire time, I'm not sure what else she could have done to help mom.

if this baby had been 10lbs I could see what the hang up was. but it's clear she was having a small baby by the size of her stomach and well 6lb and 9oz is 2+ lbs smaller than my smallest baby! and the smallest baby I've attended that wasn't a twin. I guess she really was one of those rare people with a narrow pelvis. I suggested that if she gets pregnant again (and even before) she see a good chiropractor. as much as I hate forceps, I know it would have ended in a c/s if she hadn't done that. we pushed squatting, sideways, on her back, hands and knees, sitting up... nothing was happening aside from a lot of cervical swelling. this wasn't forced pushing either... it was her that decided she had to push. it was completely involuntary.

it was a pleasure to attend their birth. they were both to strong and sure and let labour take them were it needed to. I don't think I've seen a harder labour yet. and they both should go home full of pride and joy over a job very well done. most people in hospital would have given up.... but they did not.

before that I attended a very successful version! my first ever and it was thrilling! the baby flipped in one try. I also referred her to see a chiro in her next pregnancy.

anyhow... good week. long week, but good week. I LOVE my job. it's so very taxing on me though. I'm still tired from it!

This is a link a friend had on their blog linking to a beautiful video on another blog... which I promptly hijacked! It's a labouring mama at home singing praised to God alongside her husband and doula... her 7 yr old is taped it all.

I warn you though, it's a tear jerker. have a tissue ready! who you turn to in the toughest and most pecious times shows a lot about you.

Christmas will soon be here. it seems I am not as busy as i was this time last year and for that I am thankful. Oh I do love so much to attend births. I adore it in fact! but my family does need me to be there for them so I cut back. Family is a bigger priority. they wont be little forever! I don't know how some doulas do it, working fulltime, some holding other outside jobs and having a family! my goodness it's a lot of work.

I'm still working at a local hospital program which is going great. I'm also leaking out the word via friends of my doula services.... I'm not officially advertising as I don't intend to get too busy. a few here and there works for us right now.

I'm coming up on my 2 yr anniversary. The beginning of the year. woohoo! time has flown in that regard! I can hardly think that what was once my "dream job" has become a reality. sure it's a lot of work... but I suits me well I believe. it has been good to me and i have learned so very much. I tell you what, working in an apprenticeship type atmosphere you learn FAR more than thru just schooling. sure I can read what all the books say, but it doesn't sink in and become second nature until you put it into action. Now I would never recommend skipping the schooling, but I would say to any future doulas out there, learn thru your mentors as much as possible, it makes all the difference in the world. ask a doula friend to join her at some births, there is where you will learn the most valuable lessons. there you will find your own style and become comfortable in your profession.

remind me to make some new links to my favorite birthing sites and books. my old list could use an update!

Merry Christmas everyone! enjoy the community of this season, not during any other time of year are people as caring towards one another. (I'll not bring attention to the rude few that run you down in the shopping centers trying to race towards the last of the newest video game systems! hehe) but hey I'm sure those rude people are rude every other part of the years as well ;)

• 
  I went to Baltimore to see this:
  
  The Business of Being Born
  
  
  followed by a panel discussion hosted by:
  
  
  (Riki Lake)
  
  
  possibly the most interested and exciting day I've had in a long time. certainly since becoming a doula anyhow. Riki is from Baltimore which was part of the reason they were abel to book her on such short notice. (we live about 20mins outside of Baltimore)
  
  it was a great movie and an even better discussion! I enjoyed it so very much. Riki Lake was one of my favorite actresses when I was a teenager (John Waters films... I don't recommend them so much now as a Christian, but they are pretty funny) anyhow it was so weird to see her many years later grown up, with kids and involved in something so much a part fo my life. Even better? no one treated her like she was famous. no one wanted autographs or anything silly, it was just like anybody else who supports natural birthing choices. I got to sit behind her during the movie (kinda neat) and the discussion was quaint so we all really got a lot of questions answered. she really is doing a lot with this movie to help the birth culture and I would recommend it to anyone! it does have a few graphic birthing scenes to those of you who mind that sort of thing, but it's for a great cause... not "over sexualized" in any way. 
  
  over all it was a very fair and non-antagonistic view of the birthing culture. very open and honest and truthful, but not in a throw in your face kinda way. it wasnt meant to shock you into disbelief, but to shed lite on the truth abot how the system works and how a woman's body working during labour.
  
  as soon as it's available it will make its way into my personal doula library! I urge you if it's showing near you anytime to go see it!

those who knows me well know I am a huge fan of the Weston A. Price Foundation (wapf). It's a way of eating and living... and well I could tell you all about it, but why not go HERE and read it yourself.

well recently I stumbled upon THIS article about Childbirth pain... great insite on preparing your body for the endurance of birthing. I am going to keep it on hand for my future clients so I figured I wouls share it here as well!