12 posts tagged “birth”

I've not been around much lately. I worked more than I normally do at the hospital. a meeting, a version (sucessful!) and a long laborious birth...

Last night we have company over for dinner. now that we go to the church an hour away we don't have company often anymore and I miss that! anyhow it was a lot of fun! between us we made chicken, mashed potatoes, homemade salsa, a big salad, green beans an ice cream. our small home had 10 people - 6 of switch were kids, and wow as it crazy!  it was a lot of fun and Eva was so sad to see them leave. while they were playing she comes running to me and says "I love these people!" haha. I think she isn't used to seeing them outside of church so she was so excited about that.

I think the guys may have done more talking than Cretora and I got to... simple b/c the kids managed to follow us into any room we went into- not that there are that many options here ha. at one point we snuck to my room to sit on the bed and before we know it 4 kids are on the bed and the other two on the floor beside us! too funny.

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yesterday I saw forceps used on a baby. and I gotta say I am NOT a fan of forceps. but I also have to say, since it was either that or a c/s I think it was a good call. (not that it's important what my opinion is on the matter, it was the mom's choice) the OB used them as gently as I could imagine and no more than needed. just when I think I've seen it all I always see something crazy. this mom had the narrowest pelvis I've ever seen. the baby was only 6.5 lbs, and it was OA. but no matter how she pushed, or in whatever position, after about 4 hrs the baby hadn't moved!  this baby refused to budge. This was the most natural labour I've seen in the hospital setting (which is a hard place to have a natural labour). she was walking and bouncing on the ball and swaying... and even doing side lunges. she was very vocal (we love that!) and moaned... she used a TENS unit as well. she was determined and strong. but after pushing the baby 4 hours with no movement of the baby, she was just fading on us. our encouragements of "you can do this!" and "your are doing such a wonderful job" weren't cutting it anymore and I believe they were almost insulting to her at this point. she eventually asked for some help (really asked, not just out of weakness) and the OB made sure it was really what she wanted and said she could do it however she pleased. (and unusually cool attitude for an OB!) and he assisted with forceps.

this OB totally got it - birth is important. it's important for the woman to make the decisions herself and feel victorious. Albeit, he's still and OB in a hospital (not my favorite thing for sure) but I'd say he was a pretty good one. He was no midwife, but I gotta say, aftermuch thought, aside from a midwife being with the mom the entire time, I'm not sure what else she could have done to help mom.

if this baby had been 10lbs I could see what the hang up was. but it's clear she was having a small baby by the size of her stomach and well 6lb and 9oz is 2+ lbs smaller than my smallest baby! and the smallest baby I've attended that wasn't a twin. I guess she really was one of those rare people with a narrow pelvis. I suggested that if she gets pregnant again (and even before) she see a good chiropractor. as much as I hate forceps, I know it would have ended in a c/s if she hadn't done that. we pushed squatting, sideways, on her back, hands and knees, sitting up... nothing was happening aside from a lot of cervical swelling. this wasn't forced pushing either... it was her that decided she had to push. it was completely involuntary.

it was a pleasure to attend their birth. they were both to strong and sure and let labour take them were it needed to. I don't think I've seen a harder labour yet. and they both should go home full of pride and joy over a job very well done. most people in hospital would have given up.... but they did not.

before that I attended a very successful version! my first ever and it was thrilling! the baby flipped in one try. I also referred her to see a chiro in her next pregnancy.

anyhow... good week. long week, but good week. I LOVE my job. it's so very taxing on me though. I'm still tired from it!

I found out one of my good doula friends. (as in a good friend, not a good doula... thought she is also a good doula!) is pregnant with her first baby. so exciting! she was beaming with that nervous glow on her face that every first time mama has. the first pregnancy is so exciting, a scary and worrisome and wonderful.

it's like a first kiss, you never enjoy it as much as you wish you had in retrospect. but then again you're not experience enough in pregnancy to know what you should be enjoying.

my first pregnancy I dmit wasn't much enjoying. I'm a lucky duck who gets Hyperemesis gravidarum - which in english just means I puke so much with out stopping I have to be hospitalized and get IV treatment for a few weeks before I calm down. happened in both my pregnancies. it's a major ordeal and very hard on everyone in my family. we wanted a lot of kids... ok well I wanted a lot of kids, at one point... but now I don't know. who knows. maybe... but it's hard to parent when you're so ill for 9 months of the year!

anyhow I said all that to say there was still many things I wish I had known to enjoy. like the feeling the baby move, and being able to just laydown and read a book or fold baby clothes and dream to myself about the new baby to come. with my second pregnancy I was so busy I didn't have much daydreaming time!

This coming month I've been invited to attend the homebirth a a good friend's baby. I am WAY excited. it's wonderful to be able to attend your friend's birth. what a bonding experience! getting to be abel to help women thru birth is not only a good feeling but a blessing. you get to take home a tiny bit of that joy with you. you are witness to a miraculous experience! how can you not go home feeling a little warm after wards? nothing makes you feel closer to god than death and birth. your own and others. it's a beautiful thing.

This is a link a friend had on their blog linking to a beautiful video on another blog... which I promptly hijacked! It's a labouring mama at home singing praised to God alongside her husband and doula... her 7 yr old is taped it all.

I warn you though, it's a tear jerker. have a tissue ready! who you turn to in the toughest and most pecious times shows a lot about you.

Christmas will soon be here. it seems I am not as busy as i was this time last year and for that I am thankful. Oh I do love so much to attend births. I adore it in fact! but my family does need me to be there for them so I cut back. Family is a bigger priority. they wont be little forever! I don't know how some doulas do it, working fulltime, some holding other outside jobs and having a family! my goodness it's a lot of work.

I'm still working at a local hospital program which is going great. I'm also leaking out the word via friends of my doula services.... I'm not officially advertising as I don't intend to get too busy. a few here and there works for us right now.

I'm coming up on my 2 yr anniversary. The beginning of the year. woohoo! time has flown in that regard! I can hardly think that what was once my "dream job" has become a reality. sure it's a lot of work... but I suits me well I believe. it has been good to me and i have learned so very much. I tell you what, working in an apprenticeship type atmosphere you learn FAR more than thru just schooling. sure I can read what all the books say, but it doesn't sink in and become second nature until you put it into action. Now I would never recommend skipping the schooling, but I would say to any future doulas out there, learn thru your mentors as much as possible, it makes all the difference in the world. ask a doula friend to join her at some births, there is where you will learn the most valuable lessons. there you will find your own style and become comfortable in your profession.

remind me to make some new links to my favorite birthing sites and books. my old list could use an update!

Merry Christmas everyone! enjoy the community of this season, not during any other time of year are people as caring towards one another. (I'll not bring attention to the rude few that run you down in the shopping centers trying to race towards the last of the newest video game systems! hehe) but hey I'm sure those rude people are rude every other part of the years as well ;)

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  I went to Baltimore to see this:
  
  The Business of Being Born
  
  
  followed by a panel discussion hosted by:
  
  
  (Riki Lake)
  
  
  possibly the most interested and exciting day I've had in a long time. certainly since becoming a doula anyhow. Riki is from Baltimore which was part of the reason they were abel to book her on such short notice. (we live about 20mins outside of Baltimore)
  
  it was a great movie and an even better discussion! I enjoyed it so very much. Riki Lake was one of my favorite actresses when I was a teenager (John Waters films... I don't recommend them so much now as a Christian, but they are pretty funny) anyhow it was so weird to see her many years later grown up, with kids and involved in something so much a part fo my life. Even better? no one treated her like she was famous. no one wanted autographs or anything silly, it was just like anybody else who supports natural birthing choices. I got to sit behind her during the movie (kinda neat) and the discussion was quaint so we all really got a lot of questions answered. she really is doing a lot with this movie to help the birth culture and I would recommend it to anyone! it does have a few graphic birthing scenes to those of you who mind that sort of thing, but it's for a great cause... not "over sexualized" in any way. 
  
  over all it was a very fair and non-antagonistic view of the birthing culture. very open and honest and truthful, but not in a throw in your face kinda way. it wasnt meant to shock you into disbelief, but to shed lite on the truth abot how the system works and how a woman's body working during labour.
  
  as soon as it's available it will make its way into my personal doula library! I urge you if it's showing near you anytime to go see it!

tomorrow we have our monthly Anne Arudel Birthing Circle meeting and of course I alwas wait til the very last minute ot get it all together. but to be honest, if I get it together too soon I forget it all! I have to wait til a day or two before, so there! it's not procrastination, it's good planning!

well I thought I would share here what I wrote. not that it's particularly beautiful, but it's my best advice.

Birth Plan Tips for Hospital Births

• Always start out on a good note.

• As often as possible say "do" instead of "don't"
  

• Keeping on the positive!

• "Short and sweet"

• Bring more than one copy with you.

• The most imporatant thing is for you to know the rules of both the hospital AND your PCP.

• The bigger the OB/Midwife group you are a part of, the harder it is for them to remember you and your special birth needs and desires.

Wow I really enjoyed all the responses to my last question: how was your breastfeeding experience. and I gotta tell you all I found it very helpful to me to hear how people felt about being "told" how to breastfeed. It's been a conviction of mine lately that if you're too aggressive with a mother and her baby while helping her with nursing it can have terrible repercussions. It was helpful to hear such honest thoughts on this, and I will surely tuck this away in my mental doula notes!

so I have another question:

how do you feel your birth experience and route (vaginal/natural/cesarean) impacted your breastfeeding experience?

I've noticed for instance mom's with c/s tend to have a bit of trouble at first but not always.

Now I'm going to be completely unprofessional and share some personal stuff here too (as I feel I owe a story too since you all shared you hearts with me!)  I was 19 with my first and I had an unnessecary* (i'll explain later perhaps) c/s. I was so sore and sick from lack of blood and overworked adrenal glands as I had pushed for 3 hrs also and from the plethera of meds they gave me that I could not bring myself to BF my son at first. they fed him a bottle. now in my right mind I would have been completely agianst this and I was very anti bottle for newborns.. but I was so overwhelmed and sick I just gave in. My husband didn't even get to do it! some random nurse in a bright room without anyone he recognized. (makes me sick to think about it honestly).

But I must say when next feeding time came he popped right on the breast without a single hitch. it went great. I had some milk issues (as in too much!), but my son never had a problem latching. however when they took him from my room (as I demanded him to stay with me and not in a nursery) they fed him a bottle while giving him his newborn testing (read: prodding). when I found out I could have spit nails. I was unable to even stand at that point b/c it mere hours after being cut open. I was "the crazy lady" on that floor for sure. the nurses were scared of me after that! I felt I was trapped in my bed and there were making decisions on my child without me. right away everything motherly suddenly popped up in me. something I never knew existed in me before.

anyhow I said all that to say I was only 19 with no real parenting style defined in my head. up until about 4 mos pregnant I was sure breastfeeding was gross and yucky, truth be told. but a much wiser friend talked me into considering it. after i read about it (as I truly thought it was nothing different than formula) I realized that was what I wanted to do. I am headstrong if I wanna do something i will. and I'm also rebellious and was not happy about anyone taking my kid to poke him with needles without me.  I didn't even udnerstand these feelings but it seemed rediculous to me even at my niave age of 19 that someone should not have the right to poke, prode and snip my kid without my being right there beside them.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I really see in hindsight how my birth experience greatly influenced my breastfeeding experience and I'm wondering if and of you have opinions on this. my second birth experience was when I was 24 and it was vbac. it went just perfectly with out a single problem. I didn't need or ask for any help and no one tried to control it. the nurses and doctor I was with were so wonderful and respectful to both me and my daughter.  yet I knew they were there if I needd them and that was good enough for me. I left the hospital on a total birth high an that seemed to make everything so much easier at home. I felt quite validated.

Did your birth experience and "route" influence your breastfeeding experience?

I've had some weird dreams since being a doula... but last night I dreamed that I was out at some public social event and I realized I was in labour. hard active labour. (I'm not pregnant btw!) and this other woman goes into labour as well. she seems she will deliver first and somehow the thought never accurs to us that this is too concerning. now I'm all about "homebirth" - but not a big fan of "public social even birth" ha. but anyhow I somehow delay my labour and put it on the back burner as I feel it's my duty to help this mama deliver and she's scared b/c she's in a new environment. so I realize she is getting clsoe to delivery but something is going weird... she feels the baby pushing but - it's in her ear! The baby is slowly crowning in her ear. I get scared that the baby will be stuck in her throat and she will choke! and my heart starts racing and I feel panicy but I don't want her to panic. I know this stuff happens and that it's much like a footling breech - scary but possible. "this can be done" I keep telling myself and the mother. I keep encouraging her and her ear stretches with each contraction and she is moaning and crying in pain. and soon the abby was born. I figured I needed to look at her ear to check for tearing but then I paniced and realized I don't know how to fix a torn ear! so I think mayb I need some sort of salve but what... I somehow find some kinda of ear-birth salve (whatever that is) and i tell her it might sting but it needs to be put on there. I don't know where the baby is at this point? it seemed to have dissapoeared. my ear started hurting thinking about how badly hers must hurt as an ear isn't supossed to stretch like that. I go to put the salve on her ear and it turns into Eva (my 2 yr old daughter). I am confused by this and then the phone rang and I woke up totally weirded out.

Newborn baby

If you love my new banner even half as much as I do... feel free to go give the compliments to my husband who so kindly made it for me. Why yes it is convient to have a husband who's a pro with photoshop!

but that's enough bragging on my guy for now!

In doula news, I was able to witness the birth of another beautiful baby 2 days ago. Now you may be asking "Surely after seeing baby after baby born, it must become less exciting for you, right Laura?" nope. I love it more and more. it's a treat every time. a new baby. a new face. new possibilities. birth never ever gets old. it's always amazing and beautiful.

This birth was a long one for mom. She laboured for 32 hrs but was able to push the baby out in only two. she was very proud of herself as doctors did try to not-so-gently persuade her into interventions every step of the way. But she made her own decisions and at the end she was please with how it all went down. Breastfeeding was a bit of a rough start as baby was recovering a bit from a rude awakening... she was in a sac very very full of meconium and required some assistance with clearing out so she could really start breathing. But the baby girl was very responsive once her mom got a hold of her - she totally changed her expression and took in the sight of her mother. when Dad spoke she looked at him as if to say "so that's what you look like! nice to meet you". she got very serious calm look on her face as she clearly recognized them both. When I held her for a minute while mom got herself comfortable the baby gave me quite a look of total annoyance. she clearly did not recognize me and was anxious to get back into her mother's arms.

it things like these that are amaze me. Many professionals will tell you that newborn baby's don't know anything. that they are primal and unlearned. and that they don't really know who their parents are any more than a houseplant... but I'm telling you it simply is not true. Babies are unbelievably intuitive and smart. they know so much more than we accredit them. Babies are purely amazing individuals!
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a little update on the National Pork Board vs the Lactivist for those interested