10 posts tagged “baby”

I realized I have severely neglected this blog. when I got pregnant I guess I was too tired to deal with it? I have a very personal blog, but only a handful of mommy friends read it. lots of it is private. But i have posted a few public things recently so I figured I'd add them here to play catch up. I adjusted the date to reflect when I wrote them. I meant to add them here to begin with, I just always forget I guess.

I'm also toying with the idea of blogging a specific pregnancy blog to update about how me and baby are doing. a bit of a journal to record everything i might want for future reference. it was good idea Sean had. Maybe I will do it. but it would have to be protected to some degree, because some birthy/mothery things nobody wants to read about lol (well except maybe other birthy/mothery people!) I don't think you can do this on vox, can you? I will check it out... I should probably get around to it, as i'm 24 weeks now! I'll just back-post some stuff I already wrote down elsewhere so I can keep it all in one place. easier to reference that way.

my biggest excitement (well aside from the baby that is heh) is that I've gained only 11-12 lbs so far!
ok see, I have always had VERY bad hyperemesis gravidrum with my pregnancies. In the past I lost 30 and 24 lbs respectively. yeah. scary, and quite painful. for those of you who aren't familiar with HG, it isn't morning sickness. it isn't queasiness. it's a liver problem that causes your body to produce copeous amounts of bile causing constant puking no matter what you try. there is no stopping it aside from meds or pretreatment. well this time a good friend who has HG with her pregnancies recommended some treatments for me to try (wish I had tried BEFORE I got pregnant... but you know, no little angel came to me in the night to let me in on the future lol so it was a surprise - a good one, but a surprise) anyhow she did a liver support regimine. she said it helped her so much she only had a bit of normal morning sickness, but no HG. When I was pregnant the last two times I searched and searched for this info everywhere! I spent hours reading about it but never saw these things. (for what it worth HG can also be caused by a stomach bacteria called H. pylori, I but I got tested for that right away b/c I wanted to rule it out - that usually needs antibiotics but some hve sucess with probiotic and diet change) anyhow I started right away taking Dandelion root, milk thistle, probiotics, and kept on with my cod liver oil (which is mostly a help if you take it long term before pregnancy - and I have for nearly 4 yrs). I still developed HG this time around. my body simple didn't have enough time to purge prepregnancy what it needed so the liver support only helped so much once my pregnancy hormones peeked. But I was so careful and Sean took such incredible care of me, that I was able to keep the weight loss down to a mere 10 lbs... which I gained back by my 12-13th week. I was still quit sick. actually I was sick longer than the last two pregnancies. but the weight loss was much more reasonable. and now? my body isn't in starvation mode. last night, as soon as the HG started to subside a bit, I would be STARVING and my body would pack on lbs and lbs trying to regain the weight and nutrient loss. in my first pregnancy I lost 30lbs then at 5 months I was feeling better and able to keep good down and I gained all of my weight back, PLUS 30 lbs. yep, in about 6 weeks I gained a LOT of weight. and I wasn't doing anything tocause it. I mean really, who can eat 60lbs worth of extra fat in 6 weeks? I couldn't do it if I tried. by the end of that pregnancy I had lost 30 lbs, gained it back and then gained an extra 65 lbs!!! It set me up for all sorts of pregnancy and post partm problems. high blood pressure, toxemia, extreme difficulty losing weight post partum, depression, high blood sugar, GD... just terrible.

so I'm praying b/c I was so very careful this time around I wont gain weight like that. sure, there is vanity involved. I don't want to be bigger. true. but really? I just don't want the terrible physical and mental preprocussions of extremely fast wieght loss and weight gain. it took me nearly 4 yrs to get it under semi control after Eva's birth.

funny, I went to the hospial and many OBs to help me with my HG/liver problems and not one ever mentioned this. they put me on all sorts of antiemetics and tried to shove prenatals down my throat (right... I can't keep water down but I'm going to manage a horse pill?) I'm so aggrivated honestly. out of all the very experienced and well taught doctors I saw not one had helpful advice? not one mentioned perhaps it was a liver issue? *sigh*. I'm depressed I feel my body went through that for no reason. it's always dangerous for the baby! so as you can see this is one more reason I don't want to deal with OBs, I'm kinda concerned they don't always know what they are doing with the simpler things. now, nobody can handle a scalpel like an OB! if I ever needed a c/s, I'd know where to turn! (really my section scar is so tiny - it was clearly a professional at work! I never had a single issue with it's healing. I would shake hands with my OB over that one anytime.) but not one of the MANY OBs I saw with in two pregnancies gave me a lick of good advise when it came to HG, blood pressure management, toxemia, and GD. so far it looks like I'm doing pretty well myself. ;)  so I am very pleased. Sean even sees the difference in me. not just weight, but health wise. he says he feels so much better about having this baby at home and having good midwives I can call for advise if any pregnancy situtation is out of my league.  I've never seen him so at easy with any of my previous pregnancies.

Bottom line, there are no guarantees in life. there are no guarantees that if I do everything right that it will turn out fabulous. This baby is in God's hands. this life if His to give and take away when He sees fit, and now more than ever i recognize and am in awe of that. I respect that. I have deep respect for it really. I know it is my job to do everything i know how and everything i can to keep this baby health and growing well. If I see danger i turn the other way. if I find something that will help baby I run to it. regardless of the "norm". (since when do christians care about the "norm" anyhow? we have a higher priority!) I want to give this little one the very best start I can. I want a healthy baby and a healthy mom to take care of that baby. I desire this baby to be given a foundation of health I wasn't able to provide for my last two. I want to honor god with this precious life He has given to me. In all my beliefs about how much healthier i am being, and how much healthier homebirth is... when it comes down to it, it's still in God's hands. the health, well being and outcome of this pregnancy, birth, and entire life of this Child are up to Him to design. I am merely a vessel. I am in awe if that fact. the creation of life simply miraculous!
 

Well I'm 21 weeks along now. getting fat and uncomfortable. but I should know better than to claim that at a mere 5 months! if I'm uncomfortable now, I will be miserable by 8 months!

this baby kicks more at 5 months than the other two. it will be quiet... so very quiet for hours. and I will actually think "wow that baby is quite right now". and then it hits 9pm and kaboom! I'm being kicked every bit as hard as when I was 8 months along with my others.

Sean calls the baby "the twins". not b/c I'm having twins, but b/c it freaks me out. having twins isn't a bad thing, surely. but it's just too much of a good thing I think heh. I would love any amount of babies i get, but it's my sincere wish to only have 1 at a time. I told Sean if I had two, one is going to be completely his. heh. he can mother that one, b/c mothering one newborn at a time is hard enough work! ;)

I'm finally off of most of my meds but I still take dandelion root everyday. I tried weaning off but my stomach was NOT happy. I have reflux as all sorts of other nasty symptoms. ick. so back on that I went. but that's ok. it's really the unisom that bothers me. I mean it is a sleeping medicine, so it has that pesky side effects of making you sleeping. 3 times a day? and then I have the personality of a cardboard box, really. but now I just take it like every other night or so. this is the longest I've ever been on meds. I was off by 15 weeks with both of the other two.

it's hard for me to realize this baby will actually be born. with Eli and Eva everything was exciting and new and "wow I'm going to have a baby". but this time I'm busy with mothering the two I have that I tend to think of pregnancy as some kinda permanent condition, often not thinking I only have 4-ish months left until I'm a mother of 3. 3! now this is no biggie for someone who is already a mother of 3... but it's my first time, so excuse me while I adjust to it a bit.  am I excited? yes! am I looking fwd to meeting this new one? yep! am I totally loving every single second of being a mom of two until this ne one comes? certainly am! I remember after havign Eva I realized i should have enjoyed being a mother of 1 while it was that way... but i was so excited about the new one coming it's all I could think of. now? I'm just taking it day by day.

my mom got the baby a ton of clothes from the thrift store. some brand new! boys and girls clothing b/c I don't know what I'm having. total score! I've been working on washing them and setting them aside. this baby wont have a nursery, atleast not at first, just a cradle and crib in our bedroom. and probably a dresser. so i don't have much set up there! I need a carseat, and dresser, and a few other things. ok actually a lot of things. I need a swing too (one baby gadget I don't want to live without!), a baby carrier (ergo, perhaps?) cloth diapers (probably prefolds and fuzzi bunz), spit up rags (cheapo gerber prefolds work well), crib for our room, more baby clothing, baby bunting/light coat/swaddling wrap, etc etc etc. is it wrong to have a baby shower with your 3rd child? tacky? well I'm hoping someone out there doesn't think so! b/c it's been 4.5 years since my last and we don't have a thing left from that except a 4.5 yr old girl =P

ok this is the part where i get a little panicky realizing i have a lot to do and aquire before this baby comes. lol. but luckily I don't have to worry about anything hospital related. no registrations or packing a duffle bag, or OB appointments. nope none of that. because we're having this one at home. ahhh what relief! takes a lot of your mind. worrying about making it to the hospital in time. and frankly riding in the car when you're contracting every 3 minutes is a nightmare! I'm looking fwd to labouring and birthing at home. no annoying nurses to hook me up to stupid monitors that go "PING". (sorry- that was a monty python reference there...) no IVs. no person telling me I'm labouring incorrectly (as if there is such a thing!) and nobody to bother me. love it! my eyes were opened when I started attending hospital births and homebirths. the difference!! the baby comes out so calm and attentive at home. healthy looking. like they just are like "hey mom and day. nice to meet ya". no one to poke them with a hep vax in their first hour of life. (I mean freaking, really... how is an hr old newborn going to contract Hep B!?) and no one to threaten you with cesareans when you "take too long". really? too long? how about I'll tell you when it's been too long and we'll take it from there? sheesh!

ok call me a little cynical. (or a lot). but I am so done with hospitals. would I go if something were medically wrong? sure I would! but pregnany and birthing are not medical conditions. and they aren't even illnesses. ;)  Believe it or not, I'm pretty well educated on it. working as a doula, childbirth educator and instructer of a birthing circle for several years - I've managed to learn a thing or two about pregnancy, birth, and post partum periods. but you know what's help me learn the most valuable stuff? just being a human being. female. yep. just realizing God created me a woman and He's pretty smart. knowing that God is in control of every single life. the author of every book. that knowledge  - as simple as it sounds - has more value to it then any degree I could put behind my name. go figure! that little simplistic knowledge could save us all lots of money and worry. 

***disclaimer, I have nothing against people choosing hospital births! to each their own!! I stand behind anyone's educated decision. but my educated decisions is not a hospital. I've tried it twice and didn't like it either time. it got a fair shake from me. for what it's worth I also don't like the state of Ohio, but if you wanna live there, be my guest! more power to ya =P

****secondary disclaimer. if you're thinking "but don't you know babies die at home!?" or "that is a very dangerous idea..." or  "I knew a lady and her baby turned our brain dead b/c she was born at home..." or  any other such thing. please, before you comment or jump to that conclusion take into consideration three things:

I get pretty sick the first few weeks. the last two times I've been in the hospital (a liver issue) and this time I'm controlling it with some herbs and medications from home. I feel bad... but i am home! and I'm keeping a decent amount of foods and water down. I can't do a thing around here most days, but I'm home!! =)  I'm sure the many prayers friends and family have sent up for me have helped!

((ETA: did not anyone realize how jacked up my title was??? oh well, I fixed it heh. I was tired when I wrote it.))

http://www.d-mer.org/

have you or anyone you known ever experienced this while nursing? I had some issue with it (though clearly not as bad as some) but I never thought that it could be stemming from a biolgical issue. weird, but i never put it together. I just thought it was me as I get touched out very easily.

anyhow I just thought i would share it here incase it helps someone else out!

http://www.d-mer.org/

have you or anyone you known ever experienced this while nursing? I had some issue with it (though clearly not as bad as some) but I never thought that it could be stemming from a biolgical issue. weird, but i never put it together. I just thought it was me as I get touched out very easily.

here is a small blurb from theri website that better explains it:

how D-MER Presents:
What Mothers Feel

A key piece of D-MER is that a mother with D-MER feels absolutely fine except just before her milk starts to flow. D-MER is a brief feeling, not more than 30 seconds to 2 minutes, only and always beginning before let-down. This is not postpartum depression and most of these mothers feel perfectly fine except for that pre-milk moment. A brief interval after the negative feelings appear, the milk begins to flow.

D-MER can easily go unrecognized since 1) some mothers have so many closely spaced letdowns per feeding that the feelings do not have a chance to dissipate before the next D-MER is upon her, making her feel that she experiences on long D-MER through most of, if not all of, the feeding 2) many mothers do not physically feel a letdown in their breasts and so does not connect the feeling as to being just prior to letdown and 3) given the fact that D-MER happens with spontaneous letdowns as well, a mother may not immediately connect the way she is feeling to being a breastfeeding phenomenon.

anyhow I just thought i would share it here incase it helps someone else out!

I've not been around much lately. I worked more than I normally do at the hospital. a meeting, a version (sucessful!) and a long laborious birth...

Last night we have company over for dinner. now that we go to the church an hour away we don't have company often anymore and I miss that! anyhow it was a lot of fun! between us we made chicken, mashed potatoes, homemade salsa, a big salad, green beans an ice cream. our small home had 10 people - 6 of switch were kids, and wow as it crazy!  it was a lot of fun and Eva was so sad to see them leave. while they were playing she comes running to me and says "I love these people!" haha. I think she isn't used to seeing them outside of church so she was so excited about that.

I think the guys may have done more talking than Cretora and I got to... simple b/c the kids managed to follow us into any room we went into- not that there are that many options here ha. at one point we snuck to my room to sit on the bed and before we know it 4 kids are on the bed and the other two on the floor beside us! too funny.

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yesterday I saw forceps used on a baby. and I gotta say I am NOT a fan of forceps. but I also have to say, since it was either that or a c/s I think it was a good call. (not that it's important what my opinion is on the matter, it was the mom's choice) the OB used them as gently as I could imagine and no more than needed. just when I think I've seen it all I always see something crazy. this mom had the narrowest pelvis I've ever seen. the baby was only 6.5 lbs, and it was OA. but no matter how she pushed, or in whatever position, after about 4 hrs the baby hadn't moved!  this baby refused to budge. This was the most natural labour I've seen in the hospital setting (which is a hard place to have a natural labour). she was walking and bouncing on the ball and swaying... and even doing side lunges. she was very vocal (we love that!) and moaned... she used a TENS unit as well. she was determined and strong. but after pushing the baby 4 hours with no movement of the baby, she was just fading on us. our encouragements of "you can do this!" and "your are doing such a wonderful job" weren't cutting it anymore and I believe they were almost insulting to her at this point. she eventually asked for some help (really asked, not just out of weakness) and the OB made sure it was really what she wanted and said she could do it however she pleased. (and unusually cool attitude for an OB!) and he assisted with forceps.

this OB totally got it - birth is important. it's important for the woman to make the decisions herself and feel victorious. Albeit, he's still and OB in a hospital (not my favorite thing for sure) but I'd say he was a pretty good one. He was no midwife, but I gotta say, aftermuch thought, aside from a midwife being with the mom the entire time, I'm not sure what else she could have done to help mom.

if this baby had been 10lbs I could see what the hang up was. but it's clear she was having a small baby by the size of her stomach and well 6lb and 9oz is 2+ lbs smaller than my smallest baby! and the smallest baby I've attended that wasn't a twin. I guess she really was one of those rare people with a narrow pelvis. I suggested that if she gets pregnant again (and even before) she see a good chiropractor. as much as I hate forceps, I know it would have ended in a c/s if she hadn't done that. we pushed squatting, sideways, on her back, hands and knees, sitting up... nothing was happening aside from a lot of cervical swelling. this wasn't forced pushing either... it was her that decided she had to push. it was completely involuntary.

it was a pleasure to attend their birth. they were both to strong and sure and let labour take them were it needed to. I don't think I've seen a harder labour yet. and they both should go home full of pride and joy over a job very well done. most people in hospital would have given up.... but they did not.

before that I attended a very successful version! my first ever and it was thrilling! the baby flipped in one try. I also referred her to see a chiro in her next pregnancy.

anyhow... good week. long week, but good week. I LOVE my job. it's so very taxing on me though. I'm still tired from it!

• 
  I went to Baltimore to see this:
  
  The Business of Being Born
  
  
  followed by a panel discussion hosted by:
  
  
  (Riki Lake)
  
  
  possibly the most interested and exciting day I've had in a long time. certainly since becoming a doula anyhow. Riki is from Baltimore which was part of the reason they were abel to book her on such short notice. (we live about 20mins outside of Baltimore)
  
  it was a great movie and an even better discussion! I enjoyed it so very much. Riki Lake was one of my favorite actresses when I was a teenager (John Waters films... I don't recommend them so much now as a Christian, but they are pretty funny) anyhow it was so weird to see her many years later grown up, with kids and involved in something so much a part fo my life. Even better? no one treated her like she was famous. no one wanted autographs or anything silly, it was just like anybody else who supports natural birthing choices. I got to sit behind her during the movie (kinda neat) and the discussion was quaint so we all really got a lot of questions answered. she really is doing a lot with this movie to help the birth culture and I would recommend it to anyone! it does have a few graphic birthing scenes to those of you who mind that sort of thing, but it's for a great cause... not "over sexualized" in any way. 
  
  over all it was a very fair and non-antagonistic view of the birthing culture. very open and honest and truthful, but not in a throw in your face kinda way. it wasnt meant to shock you into disbelief, but to shed lite on the truth abot how the system works and how a woman's body working during labour.
  
  as soon as it's available it will make its way into my personal doula library! I urge you if it's showing near you anytime to go see it!

The defenition of a doula: a non-medical assistant in prenatal care, labour, childbirth and during the postpartum period.

Doulas provide informational, emotional and physical assistance to birthing mothers and their families. We serve in hospitals, birthing centers and in homes. Doulas help with a variety of things from prenatal nutrition to labour and birthing positions to breastfeeding. Doulas aim to fill a much needed role in childbirth that otherwise is left unfilled.

more personally:

My name is Laura LaFianza and I am a wife, mama of two as well as a labour and birth doula. I live and serve in the Annapolis, Maryland area. I believe childbirth is a life changing event; a beginning of a new journey in life. I strive to provide attention and care through physical and emotional support by assisting the family in expressing and maintaining their personal labour an birthing goals. Every woman and her family will have different needs and desires and as a doula I respect that. I work to stay in tune with individual preferences before during and after childbirth.

EDIT: I now live in the Lancaster, Pa area.

Newborn baby

If you love my new banner even half as much as I do... feel free to go give the compliments to my husband who so kindly made it for me. Why yes it is convient to have a husband who's a pro with photoshop!

but that's enough bragging on my guy for now!

In doula news, I was able to witness the birth of another beautiful baby 2 days ago. Now you may be asking "Surely after seeing baby after baby born, it must become less exciting for you, right Laura?" nope. I love it more and more. it's a treat every time. a new baby. a new face. new possibilities. birth never ever gets old. it's always amazing and beautiful.

This birth was a long one for mom. She laboured for 32 hrs but was able to push the baby out in only two. she was very proud of herself as doctors did try to not-so-gently persuade her into interventions every step of the way. But she made her own decisions and at the end she was please with how it all went down. Breastfeeding was a bit of a rough start as baby was recovering a bit from a rude awakening... she was in a sac very very full of meconium and required some assistance with clearing out so she could really start breathing. But the baby girl was very responsive once her mom got a hold of her - she totally changed her expression and took in the sight of her mother. when Dad spoke she looked at him as if to say "so that's what you look like! nice to meet you". she got very serious calm look on her face as she clearly recognized them both. When I held her for a minute while mom got herself comfortable the baby gave me quite a look of total annoyance. she clearly did not recognize me and was anxious to get back into her mother's arms.

it things like these that are amaze me. Many professionals will tell you that newborn baby's don't know anything. that they are primal and unlearned. and that they don't really know who their parents are any more than a houseplant... but I'm telling you it simply is not true. Babies are unbelievably intuitive and smart. they know so much more than we accredit them. Babies are purely amazing individuals!
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a little update on the National Pork Board vs the Lactivist for those interested