4 posts tagged “about me”

I just came across this site. so far I really like it. no unnecessarily graphic pictures (which is a huge annoyance to me when sharing the website with members of the opposite sex!) 

I can't tell you how many times i have come across sites that claims to promote "Woman centered birth"...  Where do I begin? first off bringing a newborn child into a family should never be centered around any one family member. YES it comes via the mom, but it is an experience for the whole family (which could be the dad and possibly other siblings and in some cases grandparents and friends..). There is nothing as miraculous as being the mother - birthing a chid out of your own body! what a wonder! it is a joy (and hard work) to bring a child in this world! it should be celebrated and enjoyed! a woman should feel proud to have been able to bring her child into this world having nourishing it through her body for 9 months and then bring it to her breast to nurse it and help it grow into a toddler and soon one day, an adult. bring a new being into this world is beautiful!

... but this idea of woman centered birth is just plain ridiculous. it's downright selfish. we fight so hard to have "equal rights", and now we just keep on going. we don't want equal rights - we want better! b/c we are mothers! *eyeroll*  I'm actually quite sick of this ideal! and it's just a false notion of what one wishes would be. truth is God designed it that we need others during pregnancy, labour, delivery and birth. sometimes, it's our husbands. sometimes our children, and sometimes it's just between a mother and God. but we are never the only one there.

What an insult it must be to God to create this child and put it in a womb and have a mother take all the glory!  God gives us these children to raise and grow. how hurt He must feel when we take all the glory for creating these beautiful little human beings.

not to mention how it must feel to the dad... has anyone said to these dad's how they myst feel victim to they're child's "woman centered birth"? I can't imagine how hurt i would feel how degraded and unimportant... and uninvolved i would feel to have my spouse claim the birth of our child was all about them. this sets a dangerous tone for the beginning of parenting.

I don't think any woman claims to want or promotes "woman centered birth" for the purpose of excluding other or making the dad feel unwanted. I assume they get to wrapped up in themselves, their feelings, and their needs they honestly don't think much about the dad's. I don't think it's a problem of bad intentions, but more a problem of inexperience at best and selfishness at worse. these blogs i read talking about it often say "of course there is also a place for dad, but..."  always followed by a  "but". as if to say "yes I recognize this is his child too... but it's more mine"
ugh.

the most beautiful births I have ever been to (including a very good friend of mine) where family centered births. the woman was knowledgeable, and the dad was right there experiencing the awe and wonder of the birthing process alongside the mom. It was a journey they took together; both with different but important roles. and it is BEAUTIFUL!  of course births can be different, sometimes the couple decide the father should take a bigger role than others at certain parts. some dads are "get in there and get your hands dirty" kinda guys, and some just stand by and smile - emotionally and spiritually supporting the mother. every couple is different and has different needs and desires. this sets a high functioning tone to start our parenting. these are the couples that raise their children together. that communicate and are happy.

I'm thinking of starting a new vox... but I already have a xanga. so I dont know. I like vox and xanga for different reason. I almost always cross post. I'm a die hard xanga fan b/c I've been there for almost 8 yrs! since the beginnings. I have a lot of friends there and well... I'm not leaving. BUT I would like post more of vox as it's more user friendly to people who don't have a xanga account. hmmm... I should also probably try to keep more personal and work related things semi- seperate on my blog. though I'm proud of who I am, and though I try to post some things only for my neighborhood, not every prospective client I send to my site wants to know what I think about head covering, the color I paint my walls and the silly thing my daughter said this morning...

hmmmm.... I dont know. it's having 3 blogs some kinda sign of blog obession? I feel as though that would commit me to a label of "blog addict". and I'm not sure I like that!

This is one of the sickest things I have ever seen.

this is real apparently... and really i can believe it. someone out there is patting themselves on the back thinking "what an efficient product I have made!"

if there is one thing in life what isn't about efficiency, it's motherhood.

motherhood has little to do with meeting the expectations of others. It has little to do with pleasing the current whims and stances of the medical field...  Mothering is about knowing our children. knowing them as people. loving them... understanding there every process. knowing their limits, boundaries, abilities, set backs, loves and dislikes.  and that starts in pregnancy. NOT when the kid is born, or at 3 months, 5 yrs or 16. it starts the moment that little life is inside you.

"what?", you may be thinking, "does this have to do with this outrageous birthing product?"

well what it has to do with it is this - it's just another encouragement, and expectation that a mother doesn't know enough to birth her own child. she doesn't know her body, and her child... and that a doctor and "medical personal" need to be in charge of this. and that whatever the mother has to do to make it "easier" on the birthing professionals, she must do... even in her most vulnerable and exhausting moment, she is asked to hold her legs back with a rubber peice so the doctor cn more easily deliver the baby. (btw, I've yet to see anyone who isn't the mother who is giving birth "deliver" a baby!)

it's starts with pregnancy, first you're told how to eat, how sleep, when to be checked, when to be induced. countless restrictions and demands are put upon a woman with the line added "we only want what's best for the baby". [[[ I'll not even go into how incredibly annoyed I am by that statement, as if anyone could possibly desire what was best for her baby more than a mother!? that is her entire purpose as a mother!! to protect and nourish her child! just you try stealing a baby out of a mother's hands and you will be met with the most vicious of  sites you've ever witnessed. in a mother is put the instinct to protect her young]]]  you're sent for test after test, pinched, poked, prodded and examined by people you hardly know. stripped bare of your clothing and your modestly you lay before a stranger hoping for their approval of how you've been taking care of yourself and your child.

I would just like to at this time, point out that a mother, in fact HIRES a doctor/ob/midwife/doula/other birth professional. SHE is in control.... not the people she hires. let's think for second about this... if I hired a nanny, would I hand over to her the responsibility of setting the rules for my child? informing me of how to care for, discipline and feed my own child? ... and if I hired a house cleaner, would I hand over to her the rights of my home? let her sleep in my bed and wear my clothes?

I think NOT!

why then when we go to an OB, do we as women, feel we must sign over our rights to those who know better? some may argue, "but this is what OBs went to school for!"....  but I argue that, OBs go to school to learn how to be OBs. not to learn how to be mothers!

I would never encourage a woman to badger, fight or argue with an OB/MW/BP... but I encourage women to pick the path they want or themselves and find a birth professional that will assist them on that paht. if a hospital birth is for you, find someone who fits that bill, if you like homebirths, go find a homebirthing midwife you feel comfortable with. If you desire a labour with all the bells and whistles (ie: epidural, inductions, augmentations...) though I would highly encourage you read up about it first, go find someone who is willing to help you on that path....

do NOT however... sign over your rights as a mother to ANYONE. period. There is a big difference, in heeded the suggestions, and recommendations of who who is knowledgable on a subject, but it does not cancel out what you as a mother know instinctually about your baby. both should be taken into consideration any decisions should be made based on those together.

---

so back to the topic I started with, the "baby labour, OB handles".... read the discription on amazon. does this seem like something that is helpful to mothers and babies, or to "medical personal"? I will tell you this, any product that helps out a nurse or doctor so they don't  have to be at your every beck and call, is most certainly not a good thing. you HIRE your birthing professionals to be there for you when you need them. It is NOT asking too much to ask them to help your thru your labour and birth. if that means holding a leg, that's their job. if that means helping you onto a bedpan, that's also their job... and if it means sitting near by quietly reassuring you that you infact are doing it all just the way you need to be, that too is there job. Nothing you need while your birthing should be too much to ask.